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Genesis 1

  1. Genesis 1:1

    In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

    [sample joke] Day one and He's already created the heavens AND the earth. Meanwhile I consider it a productive morning if I create a cup of coffee.

    More material

    [sample more material] No project plan, no budget meeting, no stand-up. Just vibes and a universe.

  2. Genesis 1:2

    Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

    [sample joke] 'Formless and empty' is also how my landlord described the apartment before charging me extra for it.

    More material

    [sample more material] Hovering over the waters — basically the original 'I'm not procrastinating, I'm planning.'

  3. Genesis 1:3

    And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

    [sample joke] First voice command in history, and it worked on the first try. My smart bulbs could never.